HANDLE WITH CARE
How are you feeling? It’s a big question that’s often greeted with a quick response of ‘Fine!’, or some other generic comment and then we move on. But seriously, ‘How are you actually feeling? Are you really ‘fine’? I genuinely hope that you are and everything is going well in your life. But, even if it is, how often are you checking in with yourself and your own mental health and how honest are you being about it, not just with people around you but more importantly with yourself?
I've always been the listener or the person trying to help others with any problems they might have. I’m not sure why, it’s just always been that way. It’s always much easier being the person giving the advice or trying to help than it is being the person who takes the advice. So, over the last year, when I realised that I was starting to struggle with my own mental health, it was time for me to start looking a little more within, talking about how I was feeling and trying to take the advice rather than give it.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on Creative Nowhere Land. It’s been hard to find consistency. I’ve tried to be open and honest about the struggles I’ve faced in the last year or so, without going into the gritty details too much. But an emotional breakup with someone I loved very much and trying to keep my business going during a global lockdown have taken their toll. But let’s face it! It’s been a tough year for everyone, hasn’t it?
I’m incredibly lucky to have some amazing people around me I can speak to. The more I spoke about how I was feeling the more I realised that I was definitely not alone. So many people are going through their own stresses and troubles right now. That feeling of not having any control over our own lives anymore, financial stresses, relationship issues, breakups, the lack of purpose and the list goes on. These were all things that I could relate to as I was hearing them. Talking about all of this helped massively and as I said I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by some wonderful human beings who saw I was struggling and did all they could to help me. Not everyone is as lucky as that I know, but please, if you’re struggling try and talk to someone no matter how hard it might feel. I’ve included some links and the end of the blog that might be helpful.
There are many ways to deal with stress and your mental health and each one is individual to the specific person. For me, one of the ways I like to try and face my ‘demons’ is through art and creativity. As you’ve seen from previous blog posts, I find it cathartic in many ways. Getting my feelings and thoughts out whether that’s through writing or creating other forms of art is my therapy. It’s an ongoing process and one that can be daunting. Exposing your wounds or weaknesses is never easy especially in your art. But it’s about creating it nonetheless and if it resonates with someone other than me then that’s an extra bonus.
I want to try and let the images and words speak for themselves but I would like to just give you a brief explanation of the title ‘Handle with Care’. A well-meaning friend had asked me (when I felt in a much darker place than I am right now) if I was still feeling ‘fragile?’ After dismissing the mildly patronising tone of the question, I answered with, of course, you guessed it, ‘No, I’m fine!’. I obviously wasn’t but hey that’s what people do right?
It grated on me though as I lay in bed that night. Fragile? I understand why he asked the question but that’s definitely not how I was feeling. In fact, it was quite the opposite at that point. I felt cold, hardened off to the world, trapped, frustrated and angry, ready to snap, silenced. But fragile? Definitely not fragile! So I started to write…
This is the result. They say make what you feel so I did.
‘We all have a voice, our own and it’s rare. But heed warning my friend, Handle with care!’
CLICK ON THE IMAGES TO EXPAND
Just a little BTS shot to show that it was actually me wrapped in all of the tape.
It was all about how I was feeling so I felt it better be me suffering for the art and not anyone else. I shot a lot of images in all different positions which helped create the larger piece below. It was important for me to create something that also highlighted the fact that I’m not the only one who has felt or is feeling like this in some way. We all need to be handled with a little care from time to time throughout our lives.
Another dark one I know but I’m in a much better place now than when I created this work, hence why I’ve had the courage to bare my wounds and share the work with you now. A couple of people in my life suggested that I keep this one for myself as it’s a bit too honest and raw, but I genuinely believe it’s important to share this stuff. We all go through it and some people might not have a way of expressing it for themselves and that’s where music, writing, poetry, art can sometimes help. Yes, these are my words and feelings but I know I’m not the only one feeling them and, that it’s ok to feel them.
As I said, I’m incredibly lucky to have amazing people around me to help me process and get through some of these darker times and that allows me to put those feelings into creating rather than something possibly much more negative. I know some people reading this might not have that same outlet or close group of people around them to help so below are some details of organisations who might be able to help if you are struggling a little.
As always thanks for taking the time to read this blog post. It means the world to me that you’re on this journey with me and if you enjoy Creative Nowhere Land then please consider signing up to the newsletter below to stay up to date with everything going on. See you next time.
MENTAL HEALTH ORGANISATIONS
Mind
Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)
Website: www.mind.org.uk
CALM
CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15 to 35.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)
Website: www.thecalmzone.net
Samaritans
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk